Saturday, August 10, 2013


April Barbosa, Columnist & Poet,

Let me tell you a story about the lady who lived in the shoe
She had so many insecurities she did not know what to do
All around her the world said you are ok
But she did not believe a word they had to say
Little lady in the shoe
Why don’t you let anyone close to you?
Little lady in the shoe
Do your thoughts swirl and dance in your head
Little lady in the shoe
Do you hate your life? Do you wish you were dead?
Run, run, here comes the gingerbread man
Little Lady with the worn down steel toe boot with a cracked sole
This shoe has years, worth of dirt and grime
Pain sorrow and other markings of time
Run little lady run to the safety of your shoe
The world is too much for you
© 2013 April M. Barbosa

Monday, August 5, 2013


April Barbosa, Columnist & Poet,
I have read so many stories from people with MS who have had loved ones abandon them because of their illness.  I used to think MS is not bad I got this I need no one but myself. Then the MS decided to show me its real power and it destroyed me from the inside out. My symptoms weren’t a big deal, at first. My legs hurt and I was a little bit forgetful. Then the Multiple Sclerosis decided to mess with my emotions and state of mind.  I began to think less of myself, I became angry and hateful.

Whenever I saw happy people I would instantly not like them, not because of anything to do with them it was because of me. I was jealous that everyone else was “normal” and didn’t feel shitty like I did. My anger began to show by the way I talked to people. I wouldn’t censor my words anymore. I said mean things just to hurt people. I thought hurting others made me feel better but in actuality it just hurt my relationships.
 Family and friends began to avoid me. I felt more alone than ever. The only ones who didn’t give up on me were my husband and kids.  I regret those dark years of my life I had turned into an awful person.  I drank heavily to hide from my roller coaster of emotions, to hide from my pain, to not see the monster I had become.  I was selfish and always thought of myself I never stopped and truly seen what I was doing to my family.  This went on for years.